She did it.

Armed with wispy shoulder pads, and a tough “muddascunt” (said in my best Bajan accent) grill, Rhianna answered the questions we’ve all asked ourselves over the
past 9 months.

Through gritted teeth she bravely described the worst night in all her 21years, and then, searching for tears, Diane pulled out “the picture”.  My heart sank when I saw her raw face splashed all over the internet weeks after “that night”. One sick freak I know posted it as their profile pic on Facebook. As a woman it’s all to common for me to identify with the graphic intensity of domestic violence. Stats are that 1 in 3 women experience it. Naturally, I instinctively felt for her, but for him as well, knowing that his destiny would also be forever altered as a result of one choice -all it takes to send life into an entirely new trajectory.

I’m not qualified to judge. Whatever happened that night, the outcome remains the same and regardelss of who hit or said what first, there is no question that Rhianna was the only party badly injured. To me, she showed real courage in the interview and though I understand the natural response in wanting to be seen as strong and unshakeable, I did appreciate the vulnerability displayed when she clearly realized that others looked to her and she played a role in the lives of many – weather she knew them or not. I have read that Teen Hotline numbers saw a spike of 25% after the airing of this interview. 

She owned it and took accountability for her choice in a partner. “I was embarrassed that this was the person I chose to be with.” I saw an ‘a ha’ moment happen. A realization and understanding that this was subconsciously a learned behaviour from her own parents. At any age, it takes a sense of maturity to admit mistakes (ie: going back to him). But when Rhianna decided to end it for good, you could tell from this interview she researched statistics and eventually digesting the statement; you aren’t alone.

Perhaps this interview correlates with her album release date, and Rhi-Rhi and C.B’s teams are working the hell out of the media right now. That’s really neither here nor there. The logical response seems to be that her healing process paralled her creative process and the girl took her time before sitting under the microscope again. She could have easily succumb to pressures, churned out another album and filled her days with work. But then we would have an exhausted person who isn’t capable to dealing. She is 21.

Eff love. That was my favorite part and Rhi Rhi I’m with you (to a point). Mama always said, love is not enough. Not enough of a reason to marry someone and not enough to stay in an abusive situation. If you love them and they are hitting you, then love them enough to keep them out of jail. Life is long. Far too long to go without experiencing the joy, relief, ease, acceptance, support and true partnership of love. In the meantime, love YOU more.  – Nova B. Rutherford | ”But I Love Me More” for  everythingYNTK.